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The Blog of lumlum

The Series of 说吧, 说你爱我

说吧, 说你爱我系列之 不谈感情

lumlumq(听说爱情回来过)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛我对J 说: 我要回国了. J 笑着说: 国内好男人都已经结婚了, 看来是有点难啊. 我说, 我知道, 碰呗.

J 是一个很close 的异性朋友, 算是蓝颜知己, 基本无话不说, 他对我, 或我对他. 但我们基本不见面, 只是写EMAIL 或通电话. 岁月流声中保持最初相识的印象, 无论走到哪, 都有互相的消息. 他常常无可奈何地教育我, 你怎么就那么傻, 对男人要讲战术策略, 不能怎么想就怎么说, 要学会保护自己嘛. 我一急, 那你教我应该怎样吧, 又不是不了解我. 他唯有叹气, 也是, 那就是你, 可爱又可气. 在我们之间, 经历了一些感情挫折后, 好象都明白, 我们永远只可能是知己, 远远地看着对方, 关心对方. 这个默契, 我们都小心翼翼地守护着. 曾经也想过, 嫁给J也不错啊, 这个念头, 经历过风雨后, 被冲刷得只剩下对现实的坦然和无可奈何. 原来我们不属于对方. 现在想想, 这样也不错, 开心不开心时, 远方还是有人一如既往地与你分享, 开导你, 调侃你, 关心你. 再浪漫凄美的爱情, 落花飘零后, 惨淡得不如玫瑰花瓣的枯萎, 心如死水的痛只有自己咀嚼.

J 常常与我分担他的烦恼和困惑. 感情中没有谁是智者. 虽然他一直扮演成熟的角色. 有时确是非常脆弱和迷茫. 于是我又教育他要理智和把持自己. 是啊, 五花世界中的诱惑象黑夜中最妩媚的嘴唇, 让你想尝试最性感的颜色. 走到今天, 他都一路小心的扮演好自己的角色, 有时我会心满意足地想, 我这个姐们算是尽心尽力了.

今天会忽然想写J, 或是因为心情低落得不想去理会堆在案头的一大堆作业或是待处理的工作, 或是因为一个忽然象蒸汽一样消失在空气里的影子, 又或是因为感叹, 人生中的种种机缘巧合, 错过了就是错过了, 有些不属于你的东西, 永远只能相对无言, 曾经的每一次牵手, 每一次回眸, 每一次心跳, 都值得好好珍惜.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
(#1075881@0)
Last Updated: 2003-3-5
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下拾英 / 心情随笔 / 说吧, 说你爱我系列之 不谈感情 -lumlumq(听说爱情回来过); 2003-3-5 {1439} (#1075881@0)
    • 把心事写出来,或说出来,比一个人默默承受要好 -youngerbrother(http:fun.to/hongwei); 2003-3-5 (#1075901@0)
      • 是啊, 心情不好时, 是写东西最勤奋的季节. 今天心情很不好. :( -lumlumq(听说爱情回来过); 2003-3-5 (#1075906@0)
        • 记得吗?我们见过一面.你现在Vancourver吧? -youngerbrother(http:fun.to/hongwei); 2003-3-5 (#1075912@0)
          • 记得, 在耀荣, (Victoria Park and Finch 附近, 离EGG家很近) 时光飞逝, 世事人非了. 对,现在我在温. -lumlumq(听说爱情回来过); 2003-3-5 (#1075918@0)
            • 对你最近的遭遇深表同情.好男人难道一定要回国找吗?这里也有不少喔.不过,如果你历尽沧桑,还是回国吧,家可以医好你心灵的创伤. -youngerbrother(http:fun.to/hongwei); 2003-3-5 (#1075932@0)
    • 如果是这样，我看你还要受伤。 -tianwaixian(金戈铁马); 2003-3-5 (#1075954@0)
    • 如果你跟别人结婚，那么J注定是你的阴影。 -tianwaixian(金戈铁马); 2003-3-5 (#1075956@0)
      • 呵呵, 我不同意, J只是很好的异性朋友而已了, 经历这么多的事, 于他, 于我, 已不存在阴影的问题了. 他是我过去的一部分, 我们都很珍惜这分来之不易的友情. -lumlumq(听说爱情回来过); 2003-3-5 (#1075969@0)
        • 可是，你想过没有你将来和老公有矛盾的时候？你有了一个渠道疏解，你就不会对你老公说，那你们之间的冷战时间会比较长，而不会积极解决，这无形造成了你老公的心理压力。从而激化矛盾。 -tianwaixian(金戈铁马); 2003-3-5 (#1075991@0)
    • take it easy, please. -luckydog(山间小溪); 2003-3-5 {2301} (#1076059@0)
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛1. you know j very well, why do you marry him? you have to think of definition of love.
      2. our chinese consider too many things, too long future when doing one thing. it waste too many time and make the life too hard. love is very easy to understand.


      my understanding of love

      1. love is a part of life. love must be based on the life for most of people who want to have a stable, trustable and long love. Love has some effecting factors. if you want to consider many factors to decide love, it is best one. Sure, it is very hard.

      2. If you want to have short time love, for example, one night, one month, or doesn't matter, depending on the feeling, love will be simplier. Many couples in foreign countries do not want marry, or there are many MBA (Married But Available), they want enjoy the feeling, sex, friendship, even having a baby, because marriege is a very complicated social problem and they need to think of too many factors. (nowaday, marriege in china mostly still means having sex, but, having sex and marriege is very different things). Short time love, non-married love, MBA are most wanted love, hot, exciting, pure, enjoyable, whatever.

      3. love is an understanding, reality, but not 100%. In fact, there is best thing, but ther is no 100% perfect things. you look around the world, inlcuding the rich or poor, wise or stupid, in city or village ... ... But, you can only choose the best one, when you consider more carefully. The most of happy marrieges in the world are just this group.

      4. love is a luck, but not a mathermatic function. even you know the love well, and you consider so carefully, you also cannot have a happy love, if you are unlucky.

      5. love is always changing with the requirement of life quality, life styles. it is the reason, why some people are devoiced after marriege. Money is bad, but toooooo important. You, me, nobody can decline its attractive power.

      6. Sex is more and more importent than ever in the marriege. People want long, exciting, hot sex. oral sex is popular, mordern style. If the couple have some problem, they can understand and forgive each other after a hot sexual activity. Sex is just one of playing toys, and entertaiment method.

      ... ...

      too much we have to think of love.

      how can you do?更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • 如果仅仅是为赋新词，何妨挑破？天底下没有什么是不可能的 -ladyflower(女人花); 2003-3-8 {154} (#1079468@0)
      一个最了解你的男人，正好是你该嫁的人。不要给自己太多的心理暗示，没有天注定的属于和不属于，幸福的归宿属于勇敢的人。坦白的告诉他你的感觉，起码今生不会有遗憾
      • 女人花,这首歌狠好听 -youngerbrother(http:fun.to/hongwei); 2003-3-8 (#1079471@0)
      • 留着当知己吧，千金易得，知己难求啊！人生除了婚姻，还有很多其他的东西。LG跟知己共存应该更加开心。记得一篇文章讲女人生活中的三种男人：“丈夫”“知己”“没有性别的朋友”。 -cuptea(一壶茶); 2003-3-8 (#1079484@0)

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