饺子随笔(六) 放弃 -dropoutinmiami(东北的饺子) @芝加哥华人论坛:芝加哥枫下论坛 The Rolia Forum of Chicago

饺子随笔(六) 放弃

dropoutinmiami(东北的饺子)

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛年过三十, 少了一些浮躁, 多了几许迷惑.

(一) G
刚遇到G时, 他住在加拿大, NOT WORKING. 我不明白, 人怎么可以不工作, 又没有到退休年龄.
我问他, 你是不是有很多钱? (看着不象, 住在APARTMENT, 没开奔驰宝马)

他说, NO, BUT ENOUGH

我问, 多少是ENOUGH?

他说, Enough to pay the rent and do what I like to do.

我问，你就不想多赚点？

他说，for what?

我说，你不是世界首富吧，用钱的地方多了，比如你不想买个HOUSE？你不想开奔驰宝马？

他说，No, I don’t like house, you have to take care of it and it is not convenient to travel. As far as Mercedes and BMW, I used to have them and I have been there. If I need work for it, I don’t think it is worthy.

交往不深, 不好就钱的问题再问下去. 但是我还是比较好奇, 于是转换话题。

我问, 在中国即使你很有钱, 你也得干点啥, 像你这样待着, 有点游手好闲的味道. (折腾了半天, 才解释明白游手好闲).

他说, I am busy. I go to the book store and library everyday. I go shopping for food. I go to the water (the ocean) to see the sunset every day.

我心里想, 那也算是"忙"或者是"事儿"?

于是我说, You have to ACHIEVE something!
这"老外"不懂人生来就是要成就一番事业的?

他说，My goal is to achieve NOTHING! It is much more difficult than to achieve SOMETHING.

（这说的是什么呀，不懂）

慢慢了解多了，发现他的生活很简单。每天去书店，图书馆。每天去市场买菜。（可乐的是，每次买1个西红柿，加上其他的食品）参加社区活动，偶尔开车到周边转转。他喜欢树，问我，Do you think trees are human beings？我说树是树，怎么会是人呢？

类似为什么不工作的话题一直持续了一年。因为我不明白人为什么不工作，如果不工作又能干什么，不觉得碌碌无为吗，钱怎么会够，为什么不再多赚点等等。

（二）R
R是我请的CONTRACTOR，主要负责修改我写的PROPOSALS。他是所谓的FREELANCE WRITER，自由撰稿人。公司的业务日渐发展，我负责BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT也越来越忙。我知道他作为自由撰稿人经常有上顿没下顿，于是我给他＄40K的OFFER来温哥华做FULL TIME。没想到的是他TURN ME DOWN！

我怎么也想不明白，一份稳定的工作不是一切的根本吗？他在VANCOUVER ISLAND，有一辆破车，却没钱付保险。从来不出去吃饭。

他说，第一他不想离开VANCOUVER ISLAND，第二他不喜欢CORPORATE ENVIRONMENT。但他谢了我。我还是不明白，没有钱怎么做自己想做的事情？他这样的经济状况还TURN ME DOWN！

（三）D
我和G一起去WASHINGTON STATE的一个美丽的小岛。岛上居民不超过600人。以前G曾在这里DROP OUT。在此之前，他在一家大的通讯公司里工作，年薪＄140K。而在这个岛上，他的工作是STORE MANAGER，每月工资＄600。我实在不明白这样的选择。他指着眼前的海说，Do you think the view here is worth of $140k? 他说那段时光是他一生最快乐的日子。

书归正传，我们定了KAYAKING TOUR。我们的TOUR GUIDE是个非常FIT的HANDSOME GUY。皮肤黝黑，很瘦但很结实。他讲了一些基本要领，我们就出发了。一路上（或者一水上）看到几只SEAL和PURPLE COLOR的海参。他指给我们看时，好象他和那些SEAL是老朋友一样，充满了感情。我们一边划，一边聊。出乎我的意料，他是MASTER毕业。在这里以TOUR GUIDE为生。问他为什么不去MAINLAND工作，（G偷着笑，知道我又SURPRISE了）他说他喜欢现在做的事情，他喜欢KAYAKING，他喜欢这些SEALS和STARFISH，他喜欢这个美丽的小岛，他喜欢这个OCEAN。

后来明白了，在经济学里这叫TRADE OFF。得到的同时是放弃，关键是你想得到什么，你又肯放弃什么。更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

(#112392@0)
Last Updated: 2001-6-26

Disagree. Or when you think you must work for your parents, your family or your kids, you MUST not agree at all. -wjiang(汪激昂); 2001-6-26 (#112400@0)

如果你不去想，或认为可以不想，别人也不会因你而过的不好或更好。。。能不能解脱，不在别人，在自己。。。 -fxid(枫下客); 2001-6-26 (#112410@0)
对啊！他们无疑都没有子女。这样的生活是不适合小孩子的。当你为人父为人子的时候就没有那么潇洒了。 -guest:盈盈; 2001-6-26 (#112418@0)

得到这样的生活,就得放弃家庭(一般而言) -goodbaby(小宝); 2001-6-26 (#112429@0)

每个人的选择不一样，重要的是你有没有选择？有没有条件选择？有没有机会选择？我是不指望靠孩子养老的，等孩子长大了，愿意上哪就去哪吧，我不会拖他的后腿。 -rollor(Rollor); 2001-6-26 (#112424@0)

即便是有条件，有机会摆在面前了，选择与否也不代表什么，真有真理吗 -guest:wager; 2001-6-26 (#112436@0)
现在的人谁还指望孩子养老？只是希望在她小时候给她更好的生活。 -guest:盈盈; 2001-6-26 (#112442@0)

写得好，写得好，多写一点，如果你有时间的话。我很喜欢看 -foureyecatcat(飞翔的鱼); 2001-6-26 (#112404@0)

洒脱！生活的真谛！真羡慕！惭愧惭愧。。。。 -danielli(热干面); 2001-6-26 (#112426@0)

许多的老外的处世真的很淡，我指对物欲的不强求，对自然的追求，和对内心的自省。真的很高，不过和老外接触少，这种印象也许是他们多有童心的表现。 -guest:wager; 2001-6-26 (#112427@0)

Thanks for sharing! I've heard and believed that self-satisfaction is the highest level of human being needs when one has gone through surviving, developing stage... -alan01(alan01); 2001-6-26 (#112430@0)

I don't agree it's the purpose of life. Just thinking if EVERYONE has this kind of life, do what they want, soon the society will break down and we will live like animals. -guest:; 2001-6-26 {156} (#112532@0)
while you are admiring some people can have this kind of pleasure life, think about it. It is because a lot more people work hard to make the world running!

The point is there never gonna happen that EVERYONE has same purpose in North American, and the problem of chinese nowaday is that too many people are, whatever thay want or be forced, struggling in same kind of life. -rock_jack(Rock Jack); 2001-6-26 (#112550@0)

u hit the point -guest:; 2001-6-26 (#112556@0)

I respect the choice/values of G, R, D in the story, However, that's not my choice at this stage. And I believe that it doesn't belong to majority people's choice or mainstream values. -alan01(alan01); 2001-6-27 (#113321@0)

Face it, everybody want to enjoy the life without working. That is unfair for those who are working hard and making contributions to the society. -guest:; 2001-6-27 (#113331@0)

If you don't like it, you don't do it. but i don't think you have the right to judge others. people have equal right to enjoy their life, no matter how much they contribute. -rock_jack(Rock Jack); 2001-6-27 (#113347@0)

I admire them. I hope I can live like them. But my wife will never understand. Sigh!!! -guest:; 2001-6-26 (#112447@0)

"But my wife will never understand." Line of the day. I like it. -winterblue(winterblue); 2001-6-26 (#112522@0)

If you are really the author, please give the offer to those who desperately want the job. -guest:; 2001-6-26 (#112543@0)

一篇颂扬颓废和精神没落的好文章 -guest:; 2001-6-26 (#112545@0)

什么是“颓废和精神没落”，每日靠在办公室里混日子不是颓废？为了金钱，勾心斗角，附庸权势，不是精神没落？ -rock_jack(Rock Jack); 2001-6-26 (#112551@0)

ROCK JACK, 我又忍不住要同意你了。 -sufe(dandan); 2001-6-26 (#112675@0)

ha ha, thanks. -rock_jack(Rock Jack); 2001-6-26 (#112696@0)

We are not talking the same thing. -guest:; 2001-6-27 (#113334@0)

我见过一些这样的人，非常可爱，很多人并不是没有能力，我认识的一个本地白人，一半的时间用来做音乐，灌自己的唱片。另一半时间做EE Research Master, 仍做的很出色，但他并不打算靠这个专业找工作，只是爱好。我去bar里听过他们的演出，World Music,非常棒。 -rock_jack(Rock Jack); 2001-6-26 (#112558@0)

好奇，G 不工作，哪里来的钱哪有何秘诀我也想潇洒一下 -guest:; 2001-6-27 (#113338@0)

工作时攒的钱. 花完了再找份工作. -dropoutinmiami(东北的饺子); 2001-6-27 (#113345@0)

意识形态不同,导致人生观不同,很难说孰高孰低,快乐乃心底的感受,凡自己觉得快乐即快乐了. -guest:; 2001-6-27 (#113339@0)

故事后记, R刚刚获得19th Annual Western Magazine Awards.他很开心, 我也很开心. G现在是俺LG, 因经济需要, 又DROP IN现在工作, 不过存的钱又可以DROP OUT一年. D还在岛上 -dropoutinmiami(东北的饺子); 2001-6-27 {125} (#113351@0)

. 刚刚读完MAESTRO, GREENSPAN和他的妻子这么多年只渡了4天的假. 没时间. TRADE OFF,没有高低之分, 关键是你想要什么, 你又肯放弃什么

人们的思维为什么总是一种定式，看到G那样的人，总是想‘他要是刻苦工作那会创造多少价值’，却不去想‘这人很可爱，他没有为了金钱迷失自己’ 。换一种思维，就会接受更多的人更多的事，也会更快乐。 -rock_jack(Rock Jack); 2001-6-27 (#113367@0)

一条简单的鱼的想法 -tropicalfish(热带鱼); 2001-6-27 {790} (#113476@0)

Before I was 18 years old, I had the same dream as you described. I will travel all over the world with my camera. When I am tired, I learn painting and hand-craft. But, where is the money coming from? I don’t have rich parents and surely don’t want to depend on some man. Coo to myself, definitely I am not brilliant. Now, I’m a mature woman. I postpone my plan to the year when I can earn 100 thousands a year and still young. Since I am so lazy, my plan seems hopeless. How about second life? For common people, all choice is about money, (My dad said when I wanted to go to arts school). Have you watched star maker, a Spanish film? Even most ordinary people are unwilling to accept that they are ordinary. Anyway, I like your article. It is never enough to share somebody’s dream.

很多人以为选择的根本是钱 -dropoutinmiami(东北的饺子); 2001-6-27 {1117} (#113487@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛其实不是. 选择的根本是什么是你想要的, 什么是你愿意为此而放弃的.

象R, 对$40K说不, 是需要勇气的, 对于他的生活状况而言. 而他喜欢自己的生活方式, 就选择放弃$40K. 他每月房租$500, 吃$200, 电话和上网$80. 他靠写文章的稿费维持日常生活. 同时他在写电影, 做MP3. 他发给我他的RAP SONG很有意思, 我不能说他很有音乐才华, 但那是他喜欢的.

正在读KALLE LASN的"CULTURE JAM", 有几段话与你分享

The Pistols wanted to live "not as an object but as a subject of the story"

not live in the state of living: from "being" to "having" and then from "having" to "appearing to have"

Everyday life is ultimately the measure of all things, and the ground on which all revolutions must unfold.

钱不是关键, 关键是很多人不肯放弃. 比如, 如果一份工作工资是$80K但却要求你工作60小时/周(意味着你没有太多的时间留给自己), 另一份工作工资是$40K,但你可以有FLEXIABLE的时间, 你选择哪个? 如果你的人生都是这样选择$80K,那么你永远没有时间实现你的梦想.

再比如, 很多朋友对是否来加拿大犹豫不决, 其实很简单, 问自己这两个问题:
我想要什么?
我肯放弃什么?

得到不易, 放弃更难.

选择非大众的选择更加难..

个人的选择, 个人的意见, 仅供参考更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

You are really a quick writer. You don't have lunch or nap? I know what you mean. so I like watch movies to see how the other people make their choices. -tropicalfish(热带鱼); 2001-6-27 {326} (#113511@0)
But, for me, I cannot bear cold, hot, canned food, dirty cinema. Last month, when I was watching U2 in smallest figure in the farest place with the only cheapest ticket I can offer, hestiating before the beer booth only for 5 bucks , I tell myself I cannot be poor any longer. I have too many hobbies which all demand money.

这些人的价值观无可厚非，这也是我觉得东西方文化的不同之处。但问题是， -guest:; 2001-6-27 {234} (#113574@0)

羡慕也好，赞同也好，我们自己并不能真正地拥有那样的人生，因为我们并不真正地为那样单纯的生活觉得快乐，并不能真正陶醉其中。这才是差距。anyway，不同的人生有不同的精彩，最重要是知道自己想要什么，并为之奋斗。跟着别人的思路走，只会迷失自己。

We are Chinese. 出人头地 is our life goal. This exhortation influences every Chinese more or less. You may say it is颓废 because you were taught it is. But think it more deeply. We don’t live for money, work or achievement, we live for enjoying life. -tonyliang99(tony); 2001-6-28 {1691} (#114034@0)

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I like dumpling’s articles very much, mostly because I have the same thoughts as hers now.

I used to work very hard. I was taught to do everything for the best. I was the number one student in our high school and entered a famous university. I was still one of the best students in our class, and I worked for a joint-venture software company after graduation. I was very ambitious then. I quitted my job and set up a company with my friends. We did just so-so, but even though it is still not a big company now, I earn more than 100k usd/year in China. I bought 3 houses and two cars in Shanghai. Do you think I should be satisfied with all these? I don’t feel I am happier than my classmates who earn less than 200k rmb. When I went to Thailand on business, a Thailander asked me why Chinese want to earn money so much. I suddenly didn’t know how to answer him. Thailand’s economy is mastered by descent of Chinese, because native Thailanders are lazy. Once they earn enough money for living, they don’t want to work more, while Chinese, on the other hand, cudgel their brains for more money. It is not only Thailanders are ‘lazy’, but also people in western world. I got this by talking with a few European. Then I started to ponder upon my life and begun to change my attitude toward life. Why should I work hard to earn lots of money but cannot realize the dream I had when I was a little child --- to travel around the world. I neither have the freedom to go abroad nor do I have the time. So, I decided to immigrate, and enjoy my life ever after. Maybe after a-few-year struggle, I may settle down in Canada, and start to enjoy my traveling. As for money, enough is enough.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

Good thoughts, although your case is quite different from what Jiaozi was preaching. Most people can't afford the dream life you described, at least not at early stages of their lives. So consider yourself one of the luckiest. And enjoy! Good luck! -winterblue(winterblue); 2001-6-28 (#114310@0)

Actually, I think his case is exactly what I was talking about. He found something more important to him, so he decided to give up one thing (here is money) to get another thing (which is probably freedom or dream). It is trade off. Do you think so? :) -dropoutinmiami(东北的饺子); 2001-6-28 (#114460@0)

Jiaozi: I guess I was exaggerating a bit when I said his case was quite different. You are right, you were talking about the same thing, - in spirit. Still, note that he was not giving up his money, he was giving up on making more -winterblue(winterblue); 2001-6-28 {89} (#114768@0)
money. Things are probably easier when you have, say, half a million dollars in the bank.

@Chicago

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饺子随笔(六) 放弃

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