来加一个多月了，发现很多移民的心情很沉重，觉得举家移民不好，希望大家慎重。 -aabb(爱吃水草的鱼) @芝加哥华人论坛:芝加哥枫下论坛 The Rolia Forum of Chicago

枫下拾英 / 心情随笔 / 来加一个多月了，发现很多移民的心情很沉重，觉得举家移民不好，希望大家慎重。 -aabb(爱吃水草的鱼); 2001-3-18 {1078} (#34326@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛偶是单身，也没有工作呢。

见过一些三口之家的新移民，有些是来了半年一年的，没有太好的工作，看上去，面色苍白，精神萎靡，没说话就先叹气，实际没比偶大几岁，却显得老气横秋。他们比偶多了什么压力？偶想是两个方面吧。

一个是，既然已经成家，在国内必然已经立业，不一定飞黄腾达，但至少小康，生活恬淡稳定。这个心境偶是没有的。所以，来加拿大后，生活突然没了着落，他们的心理落差应该比偶大。
另一个是，偶只有外患而无内忧。偶想，男人如果没有工作，尽管银行里还有些钱维持，但是天天看着老婆孩子期待的目光，这心情也够糟的，如果老婆不体谅，三天一小吵五天一大吵，这生活可就是苦海无边了。

很多人来之前，包括偶，都有这样一个想法，很多文章都说新生活开始时非常艰难，但不是有很多人去了，也没回来吗？我也不比你们少个脑袋，我就不相信加拿大容不下一个我！这想法没错，但偶觉得为了这一搏，应该做好充分的心理准备。举家移民比单身移民要面对更多的压力。

说这么多的意思其实偶是有个站着说话不腰疼的建议，因为多数移民面色凝重，悲天悯人的样子，实在不好。不如多给自己一些暗示，多和别人打招呼，尽管不认识，说个早上好，微笑一下无妨啊。既能改变中国人的精神面貌，给自己，家人，别人一个好心情，又能增加就业机会：）更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

你年纪轻当然顾虑少，如果你代一两年没好工作你会怎么办？ -guest:; 2001-3-18 (#34329@0)
当你以优秀成绩在这里大学毕业，发简历却没多少回应,怎么?来的时间不长的人什么都好奇，什么都不相信。 -guest:; 2001-3-18 (#34331@0)
According to my experience, You can find yourself better future inCanada, since, you love your life here. Try to enjoy everyday instead of suffering and complainting -juliancanery(julian); 2001-3-18 (#34357@0)

If I came here with no job no money no friends and this situation seems won't have any change in short time, add that the wife and kids' screaming, and if you tell me sth like that, my response will be: what have you been smoking? -guest:jian; 2001-3-19 (#34453@0)

Jian, sorry about that. I'd like to tell you, I got the exactly same situation as you--- really smoked before. -juliancanery(julian); 2001-3-20 {729} (#35382@0)
But it won't help anyway to your life and future.

I would like do something holpfully, rather than nothing but spread hopless to my family.

Only you can make your life better here, and most of the people are all same experience here.

I don't think there is a shortcut, just take your time do something, English is the first thing first.

I can be wrong totally on my personal opinon. if my words hurt to you, I apologise here.

I am not a IT guy, I work for CDMA, wireless communication. I did my own way, not follow with others.
I mean that It may not work on you from others, you are the only guy know yourself well.

You are not racing to anybody here, instead of your own!

Best wishes and good luck !

alright! alright! wasn't talk about my self! Gee! why people are so kind...but today could be a good day, I got a meeting schedual from GM the topic is "Raising 2001", sth. i didn't expect for this year. hello, feel better? -guest:jian; 2001-3-21 (#35401@0)

No job, no money maybe won't change in a short time. But you can do make a lot of friends. I was guided to this society by Jabber's post on is-4u and feel it a real warm family. As long as you regard us as your friends, then we are. -cyt(cyt); 2001-3-21 (#35588@0)

你为什么老不参加我们的活动？ -eglington(_); 2001-3-18 (#34361@0)
说是那么说，我也是单身，才来两个月，我感到我明显老了一头！ -whitetiger(whitetiger); 2001-3-18 (#34368@0)

我也是一单身，计划于5月份左右登陆，看见你们所描述的情况，我现在感觉有些的惆怅，不知到加拿大后是不是很艰难。 -marshel700(marshel); 2001-3-18 (#34372@0)
那天我们活动的时候你可真像十八九的壮小伙！鬼妹都愿意和你交流。 -eglington(_); 2001-3-18 (#34374@0)

要不然就像十五、六的 Teenager 了。 -diao_david(LoveBeer); 2001-3-18 (#34392@0)
出来后，我就满头白发了。 -whitetiger(whitetiger); 2001-3-18 (#34440@0)

你不是自称白虎吗？这下名符其实了耶。 -guest:; 2001-3-21 (#35425@0)

别急,面包会有的.做好准备，随时就会发现机会就在身边。 -guest:; 2001-3-21 {494} (#35598@0)
我来之前觉得准备了一些，但是还不够，开始找工作，觉得准备得很不够，怎么办？每天提高自己，每天都要求自己有所收获……开始整理简历，post到网站上，就没理它。后来跟数不清的agency见面，据不完全统计，４０家左右的中介联系过。后来发现风声大，雨点小，于是调整战略，给公司直接发简历。１个月过后，逐渐参加公司面试，从希望到等待，从了无音讯到柳暗花明，最后突然发现offer就在眼前。悲观失望无济于事，利用每一分钟提高，就会有结果。我是２个月拿到offer，１月份工作。这里公司门槛高，进去以后就比较轻松了，相信自己。

你的观点我赞同，代理有时会误事，现在我就是想找公司，直接接触甩开AGENT。但那帮公司总是”半遮面”，躲在后面不出来。只要面试能不断的来，我指和公司的面试。我就肯定能进球！最多三四次足够了。 -whitetiger(whitetiger); 2001-3-21 (#35635@0)

我们也是特别甩掉代理，可是最终还是代理给找到的工作。 -flying_cloud(流云); 2001-3-25 (#36965@0)

我要和男朋友一起来这儿混啦俺们都是名校计算机的,颇有自信的说在艰辛的条件下,至少能够两个人一起奋斗! -swing(蓉蓉); 2001-3-23 (#36326@0)

I hope I am not offending you. Why did you emphasize that you and your boyfriend graduated from some famous universities, and more specificly, from their Computer Science Department? -jabber(jabber); 2001-3-24 (#36776@0)

offending?因为只是事实,而且我对自己,对未来有信心. 如果说这也能触及您的痛处的话,我只能说"对不起" -swing(蓉蓉); 2001-3-24 (#36843@0)

哎悠, 我疼死啦. -albxu(Yukon); 2001-3-24 (#36844@0)
Good luck.. Canada and USA have opened their arms and will embrace you and your boyfriend. By the way, we may be Alumni -jabber(jabber); 2001-3-25 {1449} (#36959@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I commented your posting because I graduated from Fudan University some years ago. Of course, our Alma Mater is a prestigeous school in China. Many of her graduates are very talented. I am very proud of my Alma Mater. Unfortunately, I do not fall into the category of talented people and I survive by hard working.

Sixteen years have passed since I left Fudan. I have met many and many talented people. It seems to me that not all the talented people are successful in their careers and lives. For talented people, it is important how to go along with others.

In this forum, most people are common people. They are not stupid, but they are not very intelligent likewise. Many friends, as skillful as they are, are still struggling for basic survival. This is a place for peole to encourage each other, not to show off. I do believe you are as smart ad your boyfriend. You may wonder why there are so few responses and comments on your posting, at lease before I made my bold comment.

I am an unsuccessful physicist. Around me were various intelligent people. Many of them graduated from Peking University, Tsinghua University..., of course, an d from Fudan University. After many years of struggling, most of them have found their positions as a member of generic workforce. Their self-introduction usually sounds like "I am
from Sichuan", or "I am from Northerneastern China...".

This is a bitter dose.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

敬礼. 凡是为勇攀科学高峰上了名校物理系的一律致以崇高敬意, 不论后来成了物理学家与否. 搞IT还算和物理沾点边. 我的一个朋友交大物理系毕业后去了一个什么照相馆工作, 后来改行成了会计师. -winterblue(winterblue); 2001-3-25 (#36972@0)
Jabber, I solute to you. However, don't be so critical to young friends, who can still enjoy their great expectation in their life ahead. They will learn the lessons in the real world. Don't push them too hard, or they will get old too soon. -rolling(Rollor); 2001-3-25 (#36977@0)

Thanks for your reminding. Actually, if Miss 蓉蓉 does not come from the same University where I graduated from, I would not say a single word. -jabber(jabber); 2001-3-25 {154} (#37032@0)
Frankly speaking, Fudan is famous in Shanghai and its surroundingly area only. I have enough qualifications to say so because I am one of her Alumnus.

Jabber, glad to know that we are from same school. We might have met each other before. BTW, we lived in No. 12 building then... -guest:BBM; 2001-3-25 (#37060@0)

I lived in Bldg 2 between 1980 and 1984. Nice to know you. -jabber(jabber); 2001-3-26 {121} (#37204@0)
I am proud of being a student at Fudan. But I don't think it is a good idea to introduce ourself as a graduate of Fudan

I am so jealous of you. :(-:(- -guest:不是名校计算机的; 2001-3-25 (#36967@0)
哈哈哈...我也是名校。西安培华女大。哈哈哈。。。笑死我了，我也无意冒犯复旦的朋友，只是觉得有意思。容容jj，别逗我笑了，会出人命的。 -ttl(羊肉泡馍); 2001-3-25 (#37045@0)

forgive her. she needs more time to know the word 'decent' -wjiang(wjiang); 2001-3-24 (#36850@0)

perhaps you also meed much more time to learn not to be so sensitive I probably a little proud,nut not reach the extent you mean. -swing(蓉蓉); 2001-3-24 (#36853@0)

能够技术移民的很多都是水平很高的.而且在国外,清华和深大没什麽区别,外国人都不知道,不要太以为自己了不起,wish u luck in Canada -wins(wins); 2001-3-24 (#36847@0)

that's partly true -swing(蓉蓉); 2001-3-24 {438} (#36856@0)
actually,good school can not help for job,but as a cs master applier,you should know how important it is for me. I came here to seek a better way to persue in canada. in fact most fudanese and tsinghuaee will go to USA
other than Canada(please don't get angry,that's true). For me,a high GRE
make me possible in USA too,But for us two,I sacrifice it. I'm now confident in the tenet that wherever you go,you can struggle for the best

老姐啊，看你的贴子不多，为什么每个贴子里你都会把你和你的boyfriend捆绑在一起，是生怕别人不知道你有男朋友而迎来一大批色狼，还是你没了他不能活，他没了你也不能活？有可能冒犯了！ -yellow(yellow); 2001-3-25 (#36976@0)

Love is blind. Of course, people also may say "Love is blue". -jabber(jabber); 2001-3-25 (#37029@0)

Canada & US mean nothing to you while you are in China. -juliancanery(julian); 2001-3-25 {752} (#37044@0)
I'd like to shut up if I were in your condition. I am sorry to say that.

you are even not ready to talk about your feeling in Canada,neither USA.
( have you ever been and worked here or there).

Fudan won't work on your future in Canada any more, don't take something for granted before you made it.

I saw dishwasher from Hsinghua in Las vegas, struggling for his life.

too young, maybe you need calm down and take something reality from yourself. it seems you expected on your future so much from Canada, or USA, it can suck you and hurt you indeed.

you know that you must pay off and see what is your real value locally.

don't worry, you are from Fudan, enjoy it ! self-confidence is important here anyway. good luck to you.
不知道是否随着那个只会讲三讲的上海市长升官后,上海的复旦居然可以自以为自己是中国无人不知的名校.清华和北大的研究生又如何,出国读完研究生还不是得找60K左右的工作.等你拿了哈佛之类的研究生,你再到这个论坛嚷嚷吧. -wins(wins); 2001-3-25 (#37066@0)

Dear wins, even Harvard graduates should not clamour in this forum. They should blatantly clamour with their likes on the Harvard campus. -jabber(jabber); 2001-3-26 (#37205@0)

读一读林佩如的故事，还有其它人的经历，会有一些启发的。 -flying_cloud(流云); 2001-3-25 (#36964@0)

林佩如的故事不是编的吗? -im_stone(im_stone); 2001-3-25 (#37048@0)

名校计算机的, 是MIT的吗? -guest:老牛; 2001-3-25 (#36966@0)

是复旦计算机研究生 -guest:蓉蓉; 2001-3-25 (#36968@0)

一天, 一个不速之客来到上海市联想公司人事部, 自豪的声称他是越南胡子明大学电脑系高才生, 因此要求录用. -wjiang(wjiang); 2001-3-25 (#36969@0)

这个学校的人很了不起的呀，后来不知录用了没有？ -guest:阮妹; 2001-3-25 (#37073@0)

俺这呵需要人，没人要，上俺这儿来。还要那个傻啥子学校.............的姑娘，将来不如所愿了，想过来一样欢迎。 -guest:陕北疙瘩; 2001-3-25 (#37080@0)

I heard this man wore a pair of sun glasses, with a sticker undetached. True? -jabber(jabber); 2001-3-26 (#37203@0)

不管怎么说名校还是很好听的. 我要是当年也上了个名校就好了. 人家说起什么什么园的时候也能跟着感叹感叹. 唉, 算是人生小小的一个遗憾吧. -winterblue(winterblue); 2001-3-25 (#36970@0)

Dear Winterblue, it is not a surprise if a Ph. D from Harvard cannot get a tenure track (a road to the permanent professor position) in the USA. -jabber(jabber); 2001-3-25 {286} (#37030@0)
Sometime ago, people discussed "discriminations" in this forum. Actually, discrimination begins with proving oneself being superior to others.

Graduating from a "well-known" school is definitely a good thing. But not all successful people come from those famous universities.
I graduated from another "famous" school in Shanghai. Though I was proud to be a alumu of her, I do hop I was graduated from an ordinary school with a better major. It costs me 7 years to come back to computer. -bloor(bloor); 2001-3-26 (#37278@0)

She is too young to know real things in the true world. She will learn and some years later she will change. To rongrong: Remember this world is very very big. You only know little about it. -guest:; 2001-3-25 (#36979@0)
不算夸张，一次朋友聚会，在坐8位有4位是名校CS教研究生的。复旦的CS不算世界第一吧，可能全国第一也算不上吧。名校的垃圾很多，非名校的精英也不少，名校，名校，名而已。对不起，复旦的学子，冒犯了。 -firefox99(firefox99); 2001-3-26 (#37040@0)

你们的话真是让我无地自容，我是一个...一个....一个非常不名校的毕业生。现在，我的信心倍受打击，我的生活失去了方向，我，一个非名校的排泄物，只好，整日吃喝艳舞，终老一生。惨！惨！惨！ -eglington(_); 2001-3-25 (#37086@0)

Dear, think about your relatives and friends. Maybe one of them has ever been to, or is now in, or will go to some very famous schools. -jabber(jabber); 2001-3-26 (#37206@0)

Miss Fox, thank you for your comments. At least, I feel very good after reading your comments. -jabber(jabber); 2001-3-26 {249} (#37202@0)
Actually, I often hear some Chinese ladies stressing their husbands graduated from Deida, Qinghua or Keda. Of course, if an old couple in a small city constantly their son or daughter are studying in some so-called famous schools, I can understand.

Come in. -zhiweishen(小雪); 2001-3-26 {349} (#37207@0)
Jabber, why did you say "I often hear some Chinese ladies stressing their husbands graduated from Deida, Qinghua or Keda."?
You made me feel that ladies are nothing, and they are only proud of their husbands. Have you ever seen ladies who have their own skills and don't depend on their husbands? I have never seen that kind women like you said.

Hi, take it easy. I used the word "some". I did not mean all. -jabber(jabber); 2001-3-26 (#37313@0)

I belive that ur bf will dump you in the future -guest:; 2001-3-26 (#37288@0)

非常同意。 -gongtian(roy); 2001-3-22 {68} (#35859@0)
现在的行情越来越差（据凤凰周刊），移民的日子很难过，全家急需齐心合力

@Chicago

来加一个多月了，发现很多移民的心情很沉重，觉得举家移民不好，希望大家慎重。

Replies, comments and Discussions:

More Topics