I am very sensitive about numbers, more specifically, some numbers...... these sort of number with certain meaning suddenly pops up and comes to my mind and then hits my heart, making my heart feel sour and tight.

The number reminds me some long faded away memory fragments. Those fragments haunt me, and make my mind wanna trace back to the time it happened very much.

I tried once and again. but I found it's just impossible to fix those fragments a whole picture because a lot of them had long gone from my mind, like the cholk mark was erased from the blackboard, which makes me feel even sad.

It's like me trapped in the sand, the more struggled, the faster get drawn, until sands raised up to the cheeks, closed the heaven above, endless dark

.............
So many things have happend this year:
My dearest granny passed away this year and i got no chance seeing her because of my "stupid" busy schedule;
My parents separated and finally separated
what about me? my mood is up and down and I try to control my depression but I feel aggrieved......... no trust, and that's the basics

Finally, I'm lost