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I forgot what website has connected us and led to the meeting in the virtual world. Sometimes you get to be surprised about the magic power of internet. During my university years, I bought a magazine named "Crazy English" which introduced a movie starring by Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. It has left me great impression.
It is universially acknowledged that a woman with limit social contact and lack of certain abilities might be in great need of a husband. I guess I inferred the conclusion somewhere from Jane Austen's novels. For me, who is extremely introvert and short of flexibility/creativity, I might be desperately searching solutions to loneliness. It was at that moment.
After a few correspondence, we added each other on MSN to get to know each other better. I was a university student at that time, although I was senior to most of my schoolmates as I wasted 2-3 years in major change and language improvement. On the contrary, his background seemed to be brilliant, a master degree from a prestigious Canadian University, a CFA chartered holder, and a professional. He was several years older than me. He was talkative and humorous; straightforward in the conversation. All of these turned out to be the bonus to the plain looking appearance. To be honest, everybody looks ordinary; what impresses us most should be the inner beauty. In my eyes, a man doesn't need to be handsome for attractiveness. The most appealing part is when a woman can see something through his eyes and when I can feel his heart. We had casual chat, and it almost covered everything, from global economy to family issues. He even asked me how I would feel being a housewife in the future. I laughed and responded that as long as one is with someone you love, everything could be acceptable. He also talked about his ex girlfriend and the reason for separation. The whole talk appeared to be a conversation between old friends instead of first time meeting net friends. The intuition told me that I like this guy for his candidness and intelligence. Maybe I will fall in love with him? Happy times always passed very quickly. After I got home, I left a message on his messanger, hey, I was too shy to say that I was expecting a hug from you during the meeting. Till now I do not know whether it is appropriate to say so.
He replied promptly that he was also about to ask the same thing. Let's leave the friend hugs till the next time. Probably it is authentically true that there should be some reactions to the respond of a warm hug. It might not be irresistable when the lonely souls require some kind of treatment. Especially for female, why not taking the chance to be conquered. The result is obvious, we hugged and kissed each other, but we didn't break up the bottom line. It was still good to have hugs and kisses when the chemistry can possibly lead to love. These were just my simple thoughts, and guys could have more complicated concerns. He began to escape me after this incident and no longer wanted to be a friend. Just like being a friend is a mutual way, you cannot bug someone if he totally loses interest in doing so. Whether it is friendship, or love or whatever relationship, it should be communicated in both ways. There is also a word in my dictionary called " Giving up". I guess I ought to give up and I do not want to be a loser all the time. Begging for friendship or love relationship is not a good deal.
My conclusion is that when a single woman kisses a man other than her husband/boyfriend, then she could be described as indecency. I am not in any kind of relationship, so the best thing to do is forget about anything intimate. For guys, it might be okay for them to do something no matter what relationship they are in as long as it is not breaking the law. Breaching moral standards is condemned, so what? What is the consequence?
Years later, I found his facebook profile accidently. The pictures seem to be very nice and family oriented. I saw the marriage picture, I saw the beautiful and elegant bride, and I could feel the sweetness of love and family. I didn't add him as a facebook friend because it could seem stupid for me. I sent blessings to them, yet they may never know. Although I believe in gender equality, guys are always in a position more superior, when they have the power and wealth, it wouldn't be hard to find angels.
Life means a lot and offers a lot, happiness, sadness, desires... I write something doesn't necessarily mean I want to prove something or I want to gain sympathy. Think as a man while you can differentiate love and sexual actions so easily; on the other hand, think as a woman, while both of the two elements seem equally important. Under the circumstance you cannot find both, just do something else. There are probably more stuffs in the life for exploration.
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